I've been thinking about this question a lot lately.
I guess I have considered this trip to be a turning point in deciding what I might want to do with my life or where I might want to go. Sounds slightly epic, yes?
This trip has come at a point where I'm not sure where I'm going in my life (and for real, I actually feel okay about this): My thinking of the world, my future, and my place in the world has really shifted since I enrolled in an American Indian Studies course last spring. I took AIS 102: Contemporary Issues in Indian Country with Tony Clark. It was really my first perspective (sadly, unfortunately, shamefully) of American Indians besides a grade-school, PG-version of Columbus, pilgrims, and Thanksgiving. In that course, we discussed wellsprings of Indian identity. Although it was an introductory 100-level course, it was the most challenging class I have taken and one that I have spent the most time and energy on. This course began my passion for this area of study.
I don't know how to describe it. It sparks something in me. I feel like everything that AIS is and stands for is meaningful, and it's something that I want to be a part of. I've thought seriously about staying a ninth semester to minor in AIS and then go onto teaching, and even more recently have thought about graduate school in AIS. But this decision weighs on several things, including class availability and financial issues.
I am about to embark on a semester of student teaching, which also is a factor in what I'll do after this semester. If I feel like teaching is something I want to pursue, I might graduate in May and apply for jobs. So a lot of my decision is based on my experiences student teaching (which I have a lot of anxiety about but am preparing myself slowly).
But back to this trip. This trip has the potential to do so much! Make connections, share personal experiences, learn about the way others see the world, develop new relationships and strengthen the ones I already have, reflect on where I've been and where I want to go, and maybe break down some racial barriers that I or my group or someone reading this blog might have.
My biggest fear is that we will be viewed as six white people coming to 'observe Indians'. I'm afraid the people on the reservation will think we are there just to say we've seen Indians. I can't tell if this apprehensive feeling is an act of prejudice. I want so much for this experience to be meaningful for both our group and the people on the reservation. I won't lie to say that I have high hopes for what will happen this trip. It seems like we are off to a good start -- Adam, Alyssa, Emily, Mark and I safely met up at the airport (airport delays and dysfunctional technology aside), and have picked up Branden successfully in Hannibal!
We're now in a Best Western in Columbia, Missouri. Emily is asleep and Alyssa is reading her second Twilight book. The guys are next door. I need to wake up in 5 hours to get ready to go so I'm going to sign off. I didn't mean for this post to go this way -- I wanted to talk about what I knew about Rock Point from some research I've done this semester - but I guess that will be for tomorrow night!
Goodnight.
I guess I have considered this trip to be a turning point in deciding what I might want to do with my life or where I might want to go. Sounds slightly epic, yes?
This trip has come at a point where I'm not sure where I'm going in my life (and for real, I actually feel okay about this): My thinking of the world, my future, and my place in the world has really shifted since I enrolled in an American Indian Studies course last spring. I took AIS 102: Contemporary Issues in Indian Country with Tony Clark. It was really my first perspective (sadly, unfortunately, shamefully) of American Indians besides a grade-school, PG-version of Columbus, pilgrims, and Thanksgiving. In that course, we discussed wellsprings of Indian identity. Although it was an introductory 100-level course, it was the most challenging class I have taken and one that I have spent the most time and energy on. This course began my passion for this area of study.
I don't know how to describe it. It sparks something in me. I feel like everything that AIS is and stands for is meaningful, and it's something that I want to be a part of. I've thought seriously about staying a ninth semester to minor in AIS and then go onto teaching, and even more recently have thought about graduate school in AIS. But this decision weighs on several things, including class availability and financial issues.
I am about to embark on a semester of student teaching, which also is a factor in what I'll do after this semester. If I feel like teaching is something I want to pursue, I might graduate in May and apply for jobs. So a lot of my decision is based on my experiences student teaching (which I have a lot of anxiety about but am preparing myself slowly).
But back to this trip. This trip has the potential to do so much! Make connections, share personal experiences, learn about the way others see the world, develop new relationships and strengthen the ones I already have, reflect on where I've been and where I want to go, and maybe break down some racial barriers that I or my group or someone reading this blog might have.
My biggest fear is that we will be viewed as six white people coming to 'observe Indians'. I'm afraid the people on the reservation will think we are there just to say we've seen Indians. I can't tell if this apprehensive feeling is an act of prejudice. I want so much for this experience to be meaningful for both our group and the people on the reservation. I won't lie to say that I have high hopes for what will happen this trip. It seems like we are off to a good start -- Adam, Alyssa, Emily, Mark and I safely met up at the airport (airport delays and dysfunctional technology aside), and have picked up Branden successfully in Hannibal!
We're now in a Best Western in Columbia, Missouri. Emily is asleep and Alyssa is reading her second Twilight book. The guys are next door. I need to wake up in 5 hours to get ready to go so I'm going to sign off. I didn't mean for this post to go this way -- I wanted to talk about what I knew about Rock Point from some research I've done this semester - but I guess that will be for tomorrow night!
Goodnight.
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